Best Come-Back Line Ever

This was recently in the Seattle Paper...

The title of the article was "Best Come-Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor,
59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch
at 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,
public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch on his way home from a
drinking session when he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin it's soft and squishy
inside, and there was no one around for miles
or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around"
he stated in a telephone interview.
Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the
side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he
felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole
in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.'
"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he
commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed
to notice an approaching police car and was
unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him.
It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. Aylor
and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what
happened when she approached Aylor.
I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I
was there, and then he looked me straight in
the face and said.....

A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already!