Changed Lives

In 1921, Lewis Lawes became the warden at Sing Sing Prison. No
prison was tougher than Sing Sing during that time. But when
Warden Lawes retired some 20 years later, that prison had become
a humanitarian institution. Those who studied the system said
credit for the change belonged to Lawes. But when he was asked
about the transformation, here's what he said, "I owe it all to
my wonderful wife, Catherine, who is buried outside the prison
walls."

Catherine Lawes was a young mother with three small children when
her husband became the warden. Everybody warned her from the
beginning that she should never set foot inside the prison walls,
but that didn't stop Catherine! When the first prison basketball
game was held, she went... walking into the gym with her three
beautiful kids and she sat in the stands with the inmates.

Her attitude was: "My husband and I are going to take care of
these men and I believe they will take care of me! I don't have
to worry!" She insisted on getting acquainted with them and their
records. She discovered one convicted murderer was blind so she
paid him a visit. Holding his hand in hers she said, "Do you read
Braille?"

"What's Braille?" he asked. Then she taught him how to read.
Years later he would weep in love for her. Later, Catherine found
a deaf-mute in prison. She went to school to learn how to use
sign language. Many said that Catherine Lawes was the body of
Jesus that came alive again in Sing Sing from 1921 to 1937.

Then, she was killed in a car accident. The next morning Lewis
Lawes didn't come to work, so the acting warden took his place.
It seemed almost instantly that the prison knew something was
wrong.

The following day, her body was resting in a casket in her home,
three-quarters of a mile from the prison. As the acting warden
took his early morning walk, he was shocked to see a large crowd
of the toughest, hardest-looking criminals gathered like a herd
of animals at the main gate. He came closer and noted tears of
grief and sadness. He knew how much they loved Catherine. He
turned and faced the men, "All right, men you can go. Just be
sure and check in tonight!" Then he opened the gate and a parade
of criminals walked, without a guard, the three-quarters of a
mile to stand in line to pay their final respects to Catherine
Lawes.

And every one of them checked back in. Every one!

-- Author unknown

A Fairy tale

Fairy Tale:
One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,
did not whine, nag, and bitch........




But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day.

The End

Church Squirrels



There were Five country churches in a small TEXAS town:

The Presbyterian Church,
the Baptist Church,
the Methodist Church,
the Catholic Church,
and,
the Jewish Synagogue .

Each Church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will


In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. But, the squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But, the Catholic Church, came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

For all who appreciate the outdoors, the rarely photographed
South Florida Squirrel.

Water or Wine?

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is
freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli,
(E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming
1 kilo of poop

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or
tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go
through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:

I'm doing it as a public service.

Watch Your Step

*IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY....*


*YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING......* *(not that you would...)*


*AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM.... *


*You open the door.... *

NOW, REMEMBER,* *THE FLOOR IS JUST* *A PAINTED FLOOR!**


KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....* *DOESN'T IT?*

Inflatable Doll

A guy goes into an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter asks: "Male or female?"

Customer says: "Female"

Counter guy asks: "Black or white?"

Customer says: "White"

Counter guy asks: "Christian or Muslim?"

Customer says: "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says: "The Muslim one blows itself up."

How Big Is Your Boat?

Picture taken from the deck of an anchored yacht.