The Seven Degrees of Blonde

The Seven Degrees of Blonde

 

 

 

These are good !!

 

FIRST DEGREE  

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang 

at 2 in the morning.   The very blonde wife picked up the phone, 

listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles 

from here!' and hung up.

 

The husband said, 'Who was that?' 

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.' 

SECOND DEGREE  

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the 

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror 

and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' 

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' 

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'  

THIRD DEGREE  

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and 

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really 

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is 

overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. 

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!' 

FOURTH DEGREE  

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. 

She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.' 

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

 

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.' 

FIFTH DEGREE 

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? 

A: 'Is it mine?' 

SIXTH DEGREE  

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US 

Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what 

Roe vs. Wade was about. 

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision 

George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'  

SEVENTH DEGREE 

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house 

ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and 

reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, 

and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. 

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!' 

OKAY, FORWARD THIS TO ANYONE ELSE 

YOU MIGHT THINK NEEDS   A LAUGH TODAY  

Harley Davidson Biker Meets God

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."


The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge...?"