Now Lifestyle

Thursday

Three surgeons were bragging while playing golf.

           Three surgeons were bragging while playing golf.
 
The first one said, "I had a patient that cut off four fingers on a table saw and I reattached them so well he now is playing the guitar in a band!"
 
The second doctor said,  "I had a patient who was in a bad motorcycle accident and lost his leg and arm.  I reattached them and now he's training for the Olympic gymnast team!"
 
The third doctor said " I had a patient who was riding her horse down a railroad track and was hit by a high speed train.  All they could find was the horse's ass, a few body parts, and her hair.  I put them together and now she's the Speaker of the House”!

Sunday

WOMAN SHOT IN THE HEAD

WOMAN SHOT IN THE HEAD

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of Arkansas, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby super-market to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting  in her car in the driveway with the car running and the windows rolled up. Her eyes closed with both hands behind the back of her head. 
He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay; Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour (at least it seemed that way to her, it actually had been 15 minutes, she blamed the inability to tell time on her head injury). 
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to move her hands.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. From the back seat a biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. 
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered. 
Linda is blonde, a Democrat, and a Biden supporter; but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and it was determined to be Trump's fault.

Monday

Why Not Question Everything?

Why not question everything?
Why can you go to Walmart but not the shopping malls?
Why the Dollar store and not a mom and pop shop?
Why should you stay inside when heat and🌞sunlight might kill the virus and boost our immunity?🤷‍♂️
What makes a person essential and another not🤷‍♀️?
Why have most other death rates dropped during the virus📈?
Why did world leaders meet in 🎎China in October 2019? 🧐
What happened to 5G?????
Why are hospitals paid more for Covid 19 deaths?
Why does Sweden have some of the lowest cases but yet never locked down?
Why did Obama give the Wuhan lab $334 million dollars💰? 💰 
What does a computer geek have to do with a pandemic? 📌 
Why is there an "Agenda 21"🌎 and "2030"
Why do they blame 🇺🇸Trump for a world problem? 🧐 
Why did the CDC have a job posting for pandemic relief workers in November 2019? 🔮 
Why did Dr. Fauci say in 2017 that the Trump administration would be faced with a 🎉" SUPRISE PANDEMIC " and then runs the pandemic team? 
Why are the common people being controlled by the governments and no one is controlling the government? 
Who is infringing on Jewish and Christians religious freedoms and allowing Muslims to install speakers in neighborhoods to do the call to prayer? 
Whether you're a Republican or Democrat if you're not asking these questions you should! 

The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

Like what you see?

Blog Archive