Meet Marvin, Men's answer to Maxine!!!

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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AND MAXINE SAYS............'MARVIN'...




Maxine just had to have the last word.

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY...

1. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?


2. HOW DOES IT GO? ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA,

FLOOR.....


3. IS ATHEISM A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION?


4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE

MONKEYS AND APES?



5. IS THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE

ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE?


6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE

SELF- HELP SECTION?' WAS SHE RIGHT WHEN SHE SAID THAT IF SHE TOLD ME IT

WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE?


7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?


8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL

HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?


9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?


10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'


11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN

ENDANGERED PLANT?


12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?


13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?


14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID

SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?


15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?


16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?


17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE

RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?


18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?


19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW

ROAD SIGNS?


20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?


21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER

PEOPLE.


22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?


23. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?


24. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?


25. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE

HUNGRY?


26. IS THE RULE 'DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS' OR 'DON'T PET

THE SWEATY THINGS' ?


27. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN

IT?


28. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF

'ASSTEROIDS'?


29. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?


30. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?


31. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE

BECOME DISORIENTED?


32. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?