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Monday

Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000

An old geezer became bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.  He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000." 
  
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
  
Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste
in my mouth. Can you please help me ??"
  
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from
box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth.”
  
Dr. Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!”
 
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!
 
You've got your taste back. That will be $500.
 
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot
remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from
box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth.”
 
Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!”
  
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got
your memory back . That will be $500."
 
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
 
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I
can hardly see anything!!!!"
 
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so,  " Here's your $1000 back."(giving him a $10 bill)
  
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!”
  
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your
vision back! That will be $500."
 
Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
  
Remember: Don't make old people mad. We
don't like being old in the first place, so it
doesn't take much to tick us off.
  
ENJOY YOUR DAY !!
 
P.S. Written in large print for old Geezers.

The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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