This was recently in the Seattle Paper...
The title of the article was "Best Come-Back Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor,
59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch
at 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was
charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,
public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch on his way home from a
drinking session when he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin it's soft and squishy
inside, and there was no one around for miles
or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around"
he stated in a telephone interview.
Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the
side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he
felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole
in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.'
"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he
commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed
to notice an approaching police car and was
unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him.
It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. Aylor
and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what
happened when she approached Aylor.
I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I
was there, and then he looked me straight in
the face and said.....
A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already!
Now Lifestyle
Tuesday
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The Spaghetti Affair
SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....
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