CATHOLIC GASOLINE

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was
out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she
ran out of gas. As luck would have it, an Exxon gasoline
station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some
gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he
owned had been loaned out, but
she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann
was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and
walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with
gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to
the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan
back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank,
two Baptists watched from across the street.

One of them turned to the other and said,


'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'

Dear friends,







I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking....

Scared the shit out of me.

So that's it!

After today, no more reading.

Lost Wife at Home Depot

Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their
carts around Home Depot Building Supply when they collide.

The old timer says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

The young guy says, 'That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.'

The old guy says, 'Well, maybe we can help each other.
What does your wife look like?'

The young guy says, 'Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, > with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big breasts, and she's wearing
tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?'

The old timer says.... .. 'Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.'

Most old timers are helpful like that!