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Tuesday

The Robot Bartender

The Robot Bartender 1. A guy goes into a bar in California's Silicon Valley, where there is a robot bartender serving drinks. The robot asks in a metallic humanoid voice, “What will you have?” The guy replies, “Whiskey.”
 
2. The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “168.” The robot continues on to talk to him about molecular physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

3. After the guy leaves and the more he thinks about it, the more curious he gets, so he decides to go back. The robot asks, “What’s your drink?” The guy answers, “Whiskey.” The robot returns with his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man replies, “100.”
4. The robot then talks about NASCAR, Budweiser, deer season, the 49ers, the Raiders & the Dodgers. The man finishes his drink, leaves, but is so interested in his “experiment” that he decides to try again. He enters the bar &, as usual, the robot asks him what he wants to drink.
5. The man replies, “Whiskey.” The robot brings the drink and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man answers, “35.”
6. The robot leans in real close and asks, “So ... Do you folks really think you’re going to impeach Donald Trump?” ///The end.
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Friday

T'was Days Before Christmas

T’was Days Before Christmas

T’was Days before Christmas and all through the House
   No Bills were being passed just Impeachment by the Louse
The Democrats were primed with “Bags of Schiff”
   Hoping they could find something that could finally Fit.

The Plan to Impeach the President Trump
   Failed to Realize the President always gets final Hump.
All Dressed in Black they showed up to vote 
   But didn’t realize the Grim Reaper was there to Gather these dopes

Democrats claiming this Impeachment was necessary for security of state 
   Said they prayed for the President during weeks of their Partisan Debate
 Upon completion of the vote they so handled won 
   Quickly Rushed off to celebrate Impeaching the Great One

But as the President left the Rally in Michigan’s City of Battle Creek  
  He left No Doubt the Democrats vote was without a paddle up Shiff’s Creek
With the Republican coffers over-followed with campaign contributions
President Trump might be considered the marketing genius behind all their hoax   actions.
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Thursday

Twas the night before impeachment

T'was the night before impeachment and all through the house, not a Democrat was stirring, not even Schiff the louse.
All the articles were wrote by Nadler with care, in Hope's that drunk Pelosi would soon be there.
But what to their wondering eyes should appear, But president Trump and the people who hold the constitution dear.
A six foot three business man so lively and quick, I watched as he gave Waters ass a kick, and more rapid than eagles the Republicans came, as he shouted on McConnell and each Republicans name.
And so to the White House the Republicans all flew, we're tired of this shit and the people are too.
Down the Senate he went with a leap and a bound,
He smacked that bitch Schumer right to the ground.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, then turned to the Dems and said you're all fucking jerks.
And laying his finger aside of his nose, then giving a nod from his chair he rose.
But I heard him exclaim as he walked out of sight,
When the trial is over you'll see I was right.
#Trump2020
  

T’was Days Before Christmas

T’was Days before Christmas and all through the House
   No Bills were being passed just Impeachment by the Louse
The Democrats were primed with “Bags of Schiff”
   Hoping they could find something that could finally Fit.

The Plan to Impeach the President Trump
   Failed to Realize the President always gets final Hump.
All Dressed in Black they showed up to vote 
   But didn’t realize the Grim Reaper was there to Gather these dopes

Democrats claiming this Impeachment was necessary for security of state 
   Said they prayed for the President during weeks of their Partisan Debate
 Upon completion of the vote they so handled won 
   Quickly Rushed off to celebrate Impeaching the Great One

But as the President left the Rally in Michigan’s City of Battle Creek  
  He left No Doubt the Democrats vote was without a paddle up Shiff’s Creek
With the Republican coffers over-followed with campaign contributions
President Trump might be considered the marketing genius behind all their hoax   actions.
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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