Paddy Has A Broken Leg

Paddy Has A Broken Leg


Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says, "How you doin?"

"Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed.

He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

They say, "Get away with ya.... prove it."

Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?"

Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of fuckin one?"

The Deaf Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer 'Ask him where the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.'

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don't know what you are talking about..'

The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.'


The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'

The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !'

The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'

The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.'


Don't you just love lawyers?!