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Monday
Mafia Don is dying
Old Italian Mafia Don
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his
grandson to
approach the bed; 'Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka mychrome-
plated 38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.' The
grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really doana
lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch
instead?' Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in
his voice;'Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da
business. You gonnahave a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a coupleof bambinos.' After a slight pause to
catch his breath he continues; 'Somma dayyou gonna comma home
and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man.Whadda you
gonna do then .... pointa to you watch and say 'Times up'?
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his
grandson to
approach the bed; 'Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka mychrome-
plated 38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.' The
grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really doana
lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch
instead?' Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in
his voice;'Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da
business. You gonnahave a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a coupleof bambinos.' After a slight pause to
catch his breath he continues; 'Somma dayyou gonna comma home
and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man.Whadda you
gonna do then .... pointa to you watch and say 'Times up'?
Sunday
Definitions!
These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character
lines.
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
and MY Personal Favorite!!
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character
lines.
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