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Friday

Twas during the shutdown... and Speaker of the House

‘‘Twas during the shutdown....and Speaker of the House,
tried to leave town...quiet as a mouse.
Pelosi was all packed...she was ready to go.
But Trump sent a letter, “I don’t think so....”
“You can’t use my plane,” he said with glee,
“You must stay here and negotiate with me!”
She said, “What nerve! What gall!”
Trump said, “ Tough shit! I’m getting my wall!”
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Sunday

Obscure National Holiday "U.S. Congressman's Day"

Brings a tear to your eye 

I was eating breakfast with my teenage granddaughter and I asked her, "What special day is it tomorrow?
Without skipping a beat she said, "It's U.S. Congressman's Day.
She's smart, so I asked her "What does that mean?" I was not ready for what she was about to say.
She replied, "U.S. Congressman's Day is when they step out of the Capital Building and see their shadow, and we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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