Safety in the Skies...

Safety in the Skies...

Why Some Men Have Dogs and Not Wives

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

	1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
	2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
	3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
	4. A dog's parents never visit.
	5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
	6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
	7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..
	8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
	9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
	10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
	11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
	12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
	13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
	14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:  
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

Unbelievable and Odd Laws From Around the World

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)  

Puts a whole new meaning on "Baaaaah, humbug!

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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than 'going blind!')

Are you wearing glasses to read this?  hmmmm

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there

any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.

The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England  - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)  

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In Cali , Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?

Well,.... not as great as Guam !)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of ???)

(Did our government pay for this research??)

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Butterflies taste with their feet..

(Ah, geez.)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

 

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And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

 

 

              Thank you all for reading this.   If you need to reach me in the future, I will be in Guam !!!!!!