Now Lifestyle

Thursday

To be 8 again! Men Listen Up!

To be 8 again! 

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching my wife, Judy who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off I asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, I arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! I put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later we staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. I then took her to a McDonald's and ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M & M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home and collapsed into bed exhausted.

I leaned over my wife & with a big smile lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?


Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 

'I meant my dress size, you @*#*! idiot!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Posted by at No comments:

MALE FAIRY TALE

MALE FAIRY TALE....
 
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess ‘Will you marry me?"
 
The Princess immediately said, "No!"
 
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles and
dated thin, long-legged, full-breasted women, and hunted and fished
and raced cars, and went to titty bars and dated ladies half his age
and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony, and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns, and ate spam and potato chips and beans, and blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was friggin cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
 
The End.
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

Like what you see?

Add to Onlywire

Blog Archive