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LMAO, it starts with 3 surgeons playing golf...

 

3 surgeons playing golf;

Three surgeons were bragging while playing golf. The first one said, "I had a patient that cut off four fingers on a table saw and I reattached them so well he now is playing the guitar in a band!
"The second doctor said, "I had a patient who was in a bad motorcycle accident and lost his leg and arm I reattached them and now he's training for the Olympic gymnast team!"
The third doctor said "I had a patient who was riding her horse down a railroad track and was hit by a high speed train.
All they could find was the horse's ass, a few body parts and her hair. I put them together and now she's the Speaker of the House!"
 
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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