Now Lifestyle

Thursday

A Very Boca Christmas

 

Twas the night before Christmas
and down here in Boca,
... I was sitting at Starbucks,
drinking my mocha.
I know we're all Jewish,
but was wondering still,
if Santa would come here
and give us a thrill.
On my way home,
no Christmas lights did I see,
on the houses, the windows,
not even the trees.
What a strange feeling.
Not a decoration in sight.
Was it really December
or a warm summer's night?
I drove past Toojay's,
there were lines out the door.
People were waiting
for kishka and more.
The restaurants were busy,
Christmas dinners not planned.
Never, not here
we're in Boca Land .
At home all was quiet.
I left out Kosher wine,
In case Santa came to Boca
for the very first time.
Snoozing came easy
to me Christmas Eve.
I wasn't waiting for presents
to be left under a tree.
I could hope all I want.
I could fuss and then see,
if Santa would make time
for little old me.
Then all of a sudden
up pulled his Jag,
with a sack full of presents
each sporting a tag.
Oh Bloomies, oh Saks
Oh Nieman's and more.
He knows where to shop,
he frequents my stores!
He looked for the lox,
the bagels and deli.
He came to Boca first
to fill up his belly!
"I have a long night ahead,
I want you to know.
From Boca I leave
for New York and the snow."
He stayed for a while,
he chatted and ate.
Then he left in a flash
before it got late.
What a great night
I thought with a sigh.
That jolly old Santa
is a really nice guy.
As I cleared off the table
I heard with delight
"Shalom to you all,
and OY, what a night!!

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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