I got a Watch For Christmas

My Neighbors Christmas Gift To Me!

My  neighbors next door , two lesbians, asked me what I would like for Christmas.
I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex. 
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

Lucky Frog and Golf

The Frog and Golf 




A man goes out golfing.

He is on the second hole when
He notices a frog sitting next to
The green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."




The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to
Prove the frog wrong, puts the club
Away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing.


You must be a lucky frog, he?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with
Him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the man asks. 
 
"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! 
 
Hole in one. 
 
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. 
 
By the end of the day, the man golfed
The best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit  Las Vegas .."






" They go to  Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" 
 
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table,

The man asks, "What do you think I
Should bet?" 
 
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." 
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across
The table.



The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. 
 
He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you

You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." 

The frog replies,

"Ribbit Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. 
With a kiss, the frog turns into a
Gorgeous girl.


"And that


 is how the girl ended up in my room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."