Life Long Golfing Buddies Going to Lunch

A group of golfing buddies, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because it wasn't far from the course, the waitresses were young, good looking, showed lots of cleavage and wore short-shorts. 
  
Ten years later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service were good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent. 
  
Ten years later, at age 60, the gang again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money. 
  
Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled. 
  
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they had never been there before.



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Now that we are married...

Jim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
 
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes; his wife was standing there watching him.
 
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit golfing. Maybe you should just sell your golf clubs."

Jim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There for a minute, you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't.

The Extra Seat at the Masters

A man had two of the best tickets for the Master’s in Augusta.  As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next  to him.

"No", he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is  incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this, the biggest golfing event of the whole world, and not use it?"

He says, "Well,  actually, the seat belongs to me.  My wife always would come with me, but she passed away. This is the  first Master’s we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else?.. a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head......."No. They're all at the funeral."

The Golfer's Ex-wife

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf clubs for his Saturday game. His wife was standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit playing so much golf. Maybe you should sell your clubs and cancel your membership at the golf club."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't. "

Lucky Frog and Golf

The Frog and Golf 




A man goes out golfing.

He is on the second hole when
He notices a frog sitting next to
The green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."




The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to
Prove the frog wrong, puts the club
Away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!

He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing.


You must be a lucky frog, he?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with
Him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the man asks. 
 
"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! 
 
Hole in one. 
 
The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. 
 
By the end of the day, the man golfed
The best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit  Las Vegas .."






" They go to  Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" 
 
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table,

The man asks, "What do you think I
Should bet?" 
 
The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." 
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across
The table.



The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. 
 
He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you

You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." 

The frog replies,

"Ribbit Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. 
With a kiss, the frog turns into a
Gorgeous girl.


"And that


 is how the girl ended up in my room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."