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Tuesday

Why Some Men Have Dogs and Not Wives

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
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1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.



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2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.



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3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.



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4. A dog's parents never visit.



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5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.



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6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.



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7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..



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8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.



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9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"




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10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.



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11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.



 
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12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.



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13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.



And last, but not least:



14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.


To test this theory: 
 
Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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