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Tuesday

Four Guys on a Fishing Trip

Every now and then you get a nice clean joke that makes you laugh and warrants forwarding....
 
Four guys were on a fishing trip in northern Quebec, and slept two to a tent.
 
No one wanted to share a tent with Bob, because he snored so loudly.
 
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
 
The first night, Mike, slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
 
They said, "Mike, what happened to you?"
 
He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
 
The next night it was Larry's turn.  In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
 
They said, "Larry , what happened to you?  You look awful!"
 
He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the tent with his snoring.  I watched him all night."
 
The third night was Fred's turn.  Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man.
 
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
 
"Good morning!" he said.  They couldn't believe it.
 
They said, "Fred, what happened?"
 
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed.  I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.  "Bob sat up and watched me all night.”

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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