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New Mental Illness T.U.R.D

New Mental Illness
Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Un-acceptance & Resistance Disorder (TURD)?
Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life.
TURD is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time.
Sufferers of TURD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, rioting, uncontrollable crying and “unfriending” on Facebook.
TURD is caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States of America. For many, both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome; their preferred news sources having failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal, Socialist parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim.
Research is ongoing, but TURD appears to correlate closely with the following environmental and behavioral factors:
Membership in the Democratic Party
Identifies as an Actor or Artist
Exposure to a Liberal Arts college professor
Works for the Federal, State or Local government
Living in a densely populated metropolitan area
Massive student debt
Spotty or non-existent work history
Patients with TURD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups. Any possibility of treatment requires that they be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement.
If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TURD, urge them to seek treatment. Together we can beat this scourge, and Make America Great Again.

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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