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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

 The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

 The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
 Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

 The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

 The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

 And So The Christmas Season Begins......
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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