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Friday

Granny and the Carjacking

***Get Out of The Car!...
http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/241301
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and,
upon returning to her car, found four males
in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,
proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,
"I have a gun, and I know how to use it!
Get out of the car - NOW!"
The four men didn't wait for a second threat.
They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded
to load her shopping bags into the back of the
car and got into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key
into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then
she realized why.
It was for the same reason she had wondered
why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two
12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked
four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into he own car and drove
to the police station to report her mistake.
The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't
stop laughing.  He pointed to the other end of the
counter, where four pale men were reporting a
carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as
white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair,
and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Moral of the story?
If you're going to have a senior moment... make it memorable!

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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