Now Lifestyle

Saturday

Confucius Says

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Virginity like
bubble, one prick, all gone.
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Man who run in
front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket
feel cocky all day.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano,
wise man give wife upright organ.
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Man with one chopstick
go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass
should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes
get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls
cannot walk.
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War does not determine who is right,
war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse
soon find him in cathouse.
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Man who fight with wife all day
get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib,
but one screw to fill it.
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Man who drive like hell,
bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet
is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house
should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well
often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church
sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator
smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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