Old Italian Mafia Don
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his
grandson to
approach the bed; 'Lissin a me. I wanna for you to taka mychrome-
plated 38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me.' The
grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really doana
lika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch
instead?' Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in
his voice;'Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da
business. You gonnahave a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga
home and maybe a coupleof bambinos.' After a slight pause to
catch his breath he continues; 'Somma dayyou gonna comma home
and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man.Whadda you
gonna do then .... pointa to you watch and say 'Times up'?
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The Spaghetti Affair
SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....
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