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Friday

Fishing or Sex?

Four married men go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took
place:

First guy, "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing
this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the
house next weekend."

Second guy, "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her
a new deck for the pool."

Third guy, "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
would remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said
a word, they asked him.

"You haven't said any thing about what you had to do to be able to come
fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy, "I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it went off, I shut off
my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said, "Fishing or Sex?"

She said, "Wear sun-block."
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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