Now Lifestyle

Saturday

Family jokes to start off your week

1. Losing all your friends

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.


He shoots his friend and kills him.



Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'


2. Brother wanted


A small boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother'....



Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.....



3. Meaning of WIFE


Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without
Information Fighting Everytime'!'


Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'



4. Importance of a period



Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'


Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'


5. Confident vs. confidential


A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and
confidential?'


Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's confidential!'



6. Anger management?


Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?'


Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'


Husband: 'How does that help?'


Wife: 'I use your toothbrush
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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