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FROZEN CRABS AND THE BLONDE STEWARDESS

FROZEN CRABS AND THE BLONDE STEWARDESS

     
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs
 and  asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a
lawyer, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to
announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me
the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"
     
Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.
               
Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.
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The Spaghetti Affair


SPAGHETTI............A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back.
He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread.....

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