A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a
Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the
window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu
lly grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then
opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he
receives an email on his Apple iPad that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an
ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5 and, after a
few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a
full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet
printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and
calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are and you
don't know shit about how working people make a living - or about cows,
for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.
AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
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